So I've been stressed a lot lately. Oddly, a lot of this stress stems from actually having money. I'm not accustomed to it, and it's making me crazy trying to reconcile how it gets spent. A good chunk went into savings, which is good (yay for my smart and responsible wife!). Some of it went to bills, some of it to paying off the demon credit card. There's still some left, and we're trying to make that turn into a beach vacation.
Then we discover that the week that the bakery is closed (and which I already requested off) is the most expensive week of the year to go to the beach. Son of a bitch. Then, as an extra added bonus, I managed to damage my mother in law's truck, so there's some more money. Shit on toast! Add in that I haven't been sleeping very well or much, haven't been eating right and have gained a good fifteen pounds...well, I'm cracking.
I know I should sleep more (last night I went to bed at eight o'clock). I'm trying to sit here at work and take deep breaths like the therapist told me to, but the damn poster printer keeps printing out posters with weird arrays of symbols instead of the text I want it to print. It's an uphill battle. We're having people over tomorrow night, and I'm already stressed about that too, because the house isn't all that orderly right now and cleaning it seems absurdly harder than it actually will be.
I don't know why I let myself get as stressed out as I do. It just seems like a bunch of little things snowball into this horrendous tsunami of frustration. I have a coworker who is waging chemical warfare on me via her allergen-laden perfume...I think maybe that's what finally pushed me to the point of wanting to bang my head against the wall. Note: I have not actually banged my head against anything, but it's still disturbing to have the urge to.
So, here's my proactive plan to not have a terrible weekend. I'm going to clean the house. I may arrange for a babysitter if I can tomorrow, and then try to con my wife into going on a pre-vactaion committee meeting date. And ideally a post-vacation committee meeting date as well.
Anyway, to any of you who both read this and have to deal with me in daily life, sorry I've been so freaked out all week. I'm trying.
Checks and Balances
10 months ago